Monday, May 24, 2004

im tired and sick. i need a change.

10:48 p.m.

addicted
Tuesday, May 18, 2004

i love my current layout. i can't bear to click on the red cross at the top right of the page. soon, i'll start a series of layouts out of the photos from the cemetry. i love how everything just falls into place.

11:25 p.m.

spread our wings and fly
Monday, May 17, 2004

shoes gave me a printed dragonfly file today. it came as such a surprise, really. i was shocked, excited and elated. this whole morning kicked start really well. i wont elaborate why here. it's too... public.

they say everyday is an adventure. i experienced it today with shoes. we went to the cemetry. (before they exhume it soon enough) we had fun! she was singing and bopping away. i was snapping away with my camera in the sweltering heat. as cranky as it sounds, i felt happy being in the cemetry. it was as though i was at total peace with the world. even below the earth. i believed a prayer slipped through my lips once or twice. for what, i cannot remember.

a good hearty outburst of laughter can do us all some good. i remember shoes and i being disappointed over our tests results but so cheery after an afternoon out together. and yes, i was exhibiting my new pretty dragonfly file. thanks shoes! <3. <3. <3

10:59 p.m.

back back. (repulsion)
Monday, May 17, 2004

have you ever ran like you felt fire on your heels
or screamed for a name like it's the last word ever
and just slip into believing your fate was sealed
with a key thrown into the abyss that runs forever

i dont like question marks. they pull my shoulders tensed and awake my silent heart. with hooks they ignite my engine for thoughts and trigger a dangerous emotion, luring the hiss of a snake.

i take delight in security, certainty and safety. i love the idea of comfort, rest and protection. for i am weak, fragile and vulnerable. no matter how fast i run and laugh at the thrills, only when im with you, will i close my eyes and believe.

12:22 a.m.

the tingling vibe rings
Wednesday, May 12, 2004

today my mom held my hand and we stepped into a Kodak shop to get our passport photos taken. before we even said what we were there for, the auntie from behind the counter screamed, "hey! join the contest!" in a dialect and puzzled both of us. what contest? us? and boy, was she talking to us. she recommended us to take part in the Mother's Day contest where youve to submit a photo of a mom and her son/daughter. so they'll judge you by how alike the both faces are. hilarious, aint it? but anyway, my mom was shy! SHY! so i just pestered her to take the photo and we did!

it's been such a long time since i last took a photo with my mom alone. sitting by her and holding her by her shoulder, cuddling towards her side and posing for a photo. it seemed so nostalgic it was almost surreal. even though i see her so often, though not much, i miss my mom. that's how long i havent hugged her, kissed her or loved her. i feel so inept of loving.

on a lighter note, i think we have a high chance of winning the competition! x) and that's a very delightful thought.

12:10 a.m.

we belong underground
Friday, April 30, 2004

dear shuxian, i can't express how much i enjoy exploring the wonders of this earth - below and under this earth. (you know what im talking about) yes, we havent got around to finding our final destination but one day, when the call rings, we'll board bus number 133 and that's that. we should NEVER argue over street names AGAIN because you're street-unwise and im bad at remembering bus numbers. but NO, our adventure has NOT come to an end.

and dear munkay lover, you laugh so hard at me you scare the wits outta my mind. and you! youre always so crazy and unrefined. but i know athis friendship will i never again find. so i'll love you til the end of time.

p.s. we'll master the art of eating choc pancakes neatly one day! woe to the mess we made today. ARGH.

10:40 p.m.